Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Dear god my vagina.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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