every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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