I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
