she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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