I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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