That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
