We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
