My hair reeks of homosexuality.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
