True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
