omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
