youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize