I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
