honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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