We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
