Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
this just has baby written all over it
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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