Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
