Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
