You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
