Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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