i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize