Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
