What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
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