Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
