I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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