I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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