I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
