dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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