please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
