i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
