Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
