Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
