escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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