Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
