why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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