butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
