I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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