who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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