just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
