Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
