we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
