Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize