We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
