I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Randomize
