Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize