ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
