I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
