Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
