i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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