"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
