Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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