dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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