People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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