Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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