need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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