Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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