She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
My bed smells like the plague
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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