well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
