Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
