its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
