NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
