Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
