i already hear my dad disowning me
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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