I hope mine doesn't look like that
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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