i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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