What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
