I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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