dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
