i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
